Confront Early, Lead Strong

Most leaders don't struggle with identifying their vision or strategy, they struggle with courage. One of the hardest, yet most necessary parts of leadership is having the “tough” conversation. Avoiding it never makes the problem go away; it only allows it to grow. Respect doesn't come from avoiding discomfort. It comes from stepping into it.

Recognize Discomfort

If you dread a conversation, that's usually the one you need to have. Pay attention to the knot in your stomach; it's a signal, not a stop sign. Leaning into that conversation will be difficult and uncomfortable. But having it will typically allow the situation to be corrected before it escalates.

Envision Resolution

Picture the outcome you want; clarity, restored trust, corrected behavior. When you envision the end state, you guide the conversation instead of being pulled by emotion. This is key. When your emotions are in check, communication flows better.

Shift into Courage

You don't need to be aggressive. You need to be clear. State the issue directly, listen respectfully, and set expectations. Courage is kindness with clarity. That's what keeps the conversation productive and resolution focused.

Embody Directness

Your team will watch how you handle conflict. If you avoid it, they will too. If you face it with calm firmness, they'll learn that accountability is part of growth. Your team will pick up your traits, both the good and the bad. Make a conscious effort to give them the example you want them to follow.

Track Culture Shifts

When hard conversations are handled well, culture improves. Gossip fades, respect increases, and problems get solved faster. Issues get handled quickly without adding fuel to the fire.

Throughout your leadership journey, you'll face plenty of these moments. And while they can be uncomfortable, I've found most people prefer a direct conversation over watching a small problem escalate into a larger one.

I remember while serving as First Sergeant on my last deployment, I was given this opportunity many times. One that stands out involved a conversation with one of my Platoon Sergeants. He was struggling with responsibilities I felt he should have owned, and his Platoon Leader was carrying weight that shouldn't have been his to bear.

What made it more awkward? Just a year earlier, we were peers in the same company. I had been promoted only a few months before.

I decided to sit down with him and conduct an unofficial performance review. I prepared factual examples and goal-oriented solutions beforehand. I knew I had to remain calm and regulate my emotions during the conversation. I set up a time, and we went through everything.

At the end of the discussion, he told me something I'll never forget: "No one has ever taken the time to have this type of conversation with me."

This wasn't some young kid fresh out of high school. This was a Noncommissioned Officer with well over 15 years of Army service. He truly thought he was doing a great job. He had no idea he was coming up short — or the negative impact it was having on those under his leadership.

At the end of our conversation, he was disappointed that I thought he was underperforming. But he appreciated that I took the time and had the courage not to let him continue down the path he'd been on.

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